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Used to be My Heart

Used to be My Heart

 
 
 

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Alternative Marriage  

2013-04-11 17:25:08|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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In the interest of clarity with my messages about open marriages and swinging, I figured I would write a quick post about what swinging is not. I realize most people assume it is a hedonistic, selfish, lustful lifestyle very close to being a heroin addict looking for their next fix. Though that may be what some relationships move into swinging for, it is not what moved us. I am speaking only for Corey and myself, not for all swingers.

What it is not:

1. Selfish - The most common misunderstanding about being a swinger is that people believe this is a self indulgent sexual fantasy fulfillment avenue. As stated earlier, I am only speaking from my own experiences, but we have found this is not the case. It does serve to experiment and fulfill fantasies, yes. However, your fantasies are not all that matters. You must consider your spouse and what they want from the experience as well as the other person (or people) and what they want. If you think a relationship with two people is a lot of compromise, please realize that each additional person adds to the formula exponentially. This is never all about you.

2. A relationship supplement - If your house is not in order, throwing other people in the mix with tear your house down. Swinging is not a way to get a little extra sex because your partner doesn't share the drive you do. This is also not a way to make your partner "appreciate you more" or realize how lucky they are. That attitude is a sure fire way to hit divorce court, or wish you could.

3. Self Esteem supplement - If you feel you need attention you aren't getting from your relationship to feel good about yourself, this is not the way to go. You will get attention, yes. Just like in any new relationship though, if you are needing somebody else to make you feel better about yourself, you are setting yourself and the other person up for failure.

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